Just reflecting...

So it was just the other day when I got a feeling that I haven't had in such a long time...just to make a long story short, I don't really know the exact word of those different types of emotions, maybe you can all tell me what it is at the end :S? Okay so I was a having a conversation with this guy that I've known for a few years now, sure we did stuff and for sure I like him a lot and I truly care about him genuinely (more than most guys I dated). Despite all of that, I still dated other guys, because yes I'm young and I'm not officially taken! lol I told him what I was doing and admitted to everything and as a "player" You're suppose to play the game right, don't tell them anything, and deny, deny, deny! etc. But I made a decision that I would tell him, because I really cared about him, and from his expressions it seemed like he was bothered or I may have hurt him in a way :S? and I felt really bad and so guilty!!!

After telling him that a week prior to our conversation the other day, he also admitted something to me, and it was how he had a girlfriend for the past year and he's just getting over her now! First of all, I was so shocked, I really had to compose myself and try not to show any facial expressions. He figured since I became honest, he would go ahead and say something as well :S! Well I obviously didn't like the news, because when we were seeing each other-he was still not over her. He continued to talk about her for about half an hour -_- and he really loved her.

Can you imagine that feeling when you put someone on the top of your list of all the other guys, and to find out you're not in his! Or the feeling of being with that person and thinking they are truly happy but really they're thinking of their ex? And you weren't the one to help him get over her?! and I've been on this game for almost a couple years now, and I believe I knew everything there is to know about guys, but after this-it just made it seem like I know nothing : I cared about him way too much, and I shouldn't have. Well, that was that, now I know, and I can move on with my life (always gotta think positive!).

p.s. Yes I'm a jealous person and can't settle with someone that's not putting me first-and you shouldn't either!